Provoked Thoughts
by Hot Mess 12
Summary: Temari's thoughts unleashed onto to paper. I'll rate it T for now. R&R wekcome :
1. Chapter 1

_The walls are caving in_

_as the rain trickles down her cheeks._

_She can't see or think straight_

_As she is falling down to the ground._

_No one can save her now,_

_not even herself._

_She is too far gone_

_only one person can save her._

_And yet he looks at her,_

_at her pathetic being,_

_with nothing but pity, _

_just like everyone else._

_Everyone hates her_

_even though they all love her._

_As the rain gets heavier_

_so does her sorrow_

_and so does her past._

Personally, I hate the thought up keeping a diary or journal or whatever you want to call this stupid notebook. Unfortunately, I have to, whether I want to or not. It's not my decision, then again outside of the battlefield, when do I have a decision?

I find the whole "let's talk about our feelings" thing just a tad bit overdramatic if you want the truth. We didn't go through emotional training to be treated like six-year-olds that don't really even know left from right yet. However, my journal is for personal thoughts so I might as well use it. I'm angry at the world. I'm angry at life and what it has put me through. I'm angry at myself. You can't expect me not to be with everything that has happened over the course of my short lifespan. I am Temari, and this is nothing more than my thoughts written down on paper. (Not to say, that my thoughts are unimportant, but to simply say no one is as complex as they seem...not even him.)


	2. Chapter 2

_Love is a sweet smell_

_of lavender and lovers._

_When the rest of the world_

_is suffering,_

_love can make the difference_

_between failure and success._

In life, you have those "I knew it!" moments. Whether it is in the middle of a battle against a stupid brat who thinks she can outsmart you by staying away from your wrath or finding out that your little brother stole your make-up that you hid underneath your pillow for avoid it being stolen in the first place.

Anyways, I am getting a little sidetracked from my point. Then again, I guess that's okay, seeing that I just have to write whatever I feel like at the time. But, recently, I have had one of those stupid moments. And I mean that it is one of those stupid "I knew it!" moments.

Now, I'm guessing that I have to elaborate more than that. I have never really liked any guy who I've come across. They are all either stupid, dumb, or arrogant. Or a combination of the three. No guy is able to keep pace with me in any sense of the word. Intellectually, all of the guys I've met are as smart as a lamp post. I mean, when the bulb in the lamp post never goes off. At all. They never catch my attention, and even when they tried, they really knew nothing about me. It has always been quite pathetic.

By the way, that's not my "I knew it!" moment. He is my stupid "I knew it!" But really, it's that he intrigues me. I mean, come on, he is supposedly a genius. Personally, I wouldn't go that far. But I will admit that he is smart.

He had to have been if he could beat me in a one-on-one matchup. Well, he didn't technically beat me, he just got the best of me for one second. But I did win it...not that anyone actually acknowledges it.

I hate it how smart he is. It's irritating because he outsmarted my "guy theory". This theory states that all guys are generally all the same. It is made of three major basic primacies.

1) All guys are dumb. They fight out of their emotions, whether they say they do or not. Take Naruto as a perfect example. Guys think they know everything when, in reality, they have no clue at all. Which is why I can't stand them.

2) All guys want control over women. They are supposedly superior to all women. This primacy is the most annoying and obviously can easily be proven false. Trust me on this one. I have beaten up so many guys that it's almost humiliating to their entire gender. (That would be based on #2's rules). They feel the need to belittle women in order to create power over them and thus gain control over them. (by the way, I just happen to be the exception to this)

3) All guys are assholes. They don't know when a joke has gone too far or when they just need to stop treating people like crap. Do I need to really go on into detail for this one? I think not.

Now, I have lived believing this were true. Even my brothers had signs of these encoded into their DNA makeup. But, then he had to ruin it by being...well, I don't know...different? special?

He had to prove all of the theory wrong. He was intelligent, and I could hold hour-long conversions and debates. He challenged me mentally, and unfortunately, he always won at shoji. Shoji required brain cells to play. So #1 was out of the window.

He was always laid-back and let me boss him around. He complained, but he never actually wanted to take control over any situation. And as we both grew up, he seemed even more relaxed around me and accepted my constant orders I expected from him. As my guide, he even made sure to get up before I did. And knowing him, he enjoyed his sleep. So, of course, he just had to prove #2 wrong.

Now for #3, he had his moments where I couldn't stand him. For the most part, he was kind, caring, polite, and...nevermind. That thought had no point to my point. He was a genuine guy. On top of that, he was too lazy to be an asshole. Being an asshole required energy, which he never was willing to exert. (Well, at least, not any more than necessary.)

My point to the theory was to give me a general checklist to make sure that I was right. To give me a sense of control. I guess that since I have gotten to know him, I haven't had to have that. Which SUCKS. I need to be in control of the things I can control. He has changed every aspect of my theory. I think about his stupid face too much, when I can't even see him that much anyways. (This makes him even more of a stupid genius.)

His name is Nara Shikamaru, and he scares the living shit out of me. I think my "I knew it!" moment is now. I love the stupid, smart, caring, cute, stupid, lazy, stupid genius


	3. Chapter 3

_The battlefield on which we stand_

_can plummet quickly into a wasteland._

_No one can save you in a desolate sun_

_because by then the battle has been won._

_The battlefield we step onto without gloves_

_is none other than love's._

Of all of the people they put me against in the exam, they had to put me up against crybaby. I believe that's how I've gotten into this mess in the first place. The stupid domino effect, if you will. To believe in such stupid ideas is ridiculous (trust me, I know). It's like believing in Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy. Nevertheless, I just have to believe in this.

If I hadn't had to face him in the exam, our next meeting would have just felt like any other mission. It would have been a brief encounter with him. And then, I probably wouldn't have stayed with him outside the hospital room. And then, I never would have felt bad for him, and I wouldn't have wanted to help him. And then, when I heard that he was my guide, I wouldn't have gotten excited. And then, I wouldn't have loved his scent (which, by the way, is a mixture of freshly cut grass and a faint smell of a clean house). Then, I wouldn't have wanted to hold hour-long conversions with him. And then, I wouldn't have fallen in love.

See, I told you. I hate to admit it, but what other explanation is there? Fate...come on, fate and destiny sounds even more absurd. And even more stupid.

So, I blame other people for this stupid feeling. The churn in my stomach every time he looks at him with his lazy eyes. Those beautiful lazy eyes. Gosh, what am I even saying? This is so dumb. I don't think writing my feelings down and describing them is doing me any good. I mean, for real. What good is writing down feelings you will never act upon? It's pointless. It makes you vulnerable and weak...and, that is the one thing I can never be...EVER.

But now that I think about it, this journal has been me realize something: everyone has to fall in love at least once in their life...I don't understand life. Why can't I just kill everyone? And be alone and happy. That sounds good to me...actually, that sounds horrible now that I think about it.

I absolutely hate this journal, and I absolutely love him.

I'm headed to Konoha soon on official business so I know that he will be waiting for me at the gate. If he isn't, I'll kill him. Maybe, just maybe, I'll tell him. But what if he doesn't feel the same? What if I'm being stupid? What if I'm falling into the rules of the "guy theory" rule #1? Gosh, life is too complicated.

Oh great, now I sound like him.


	4. Chapter 4

_`The nervous have no nerves_

_The selfish have no self-worth_

_The foolish are never actually fools_

_The timely can't control time_

_But the lovers actually possess love._

To tell you the truth, I wasn't always fond of him. Actually, at one point in our relationship (if you can call what we have a relationship) I hated him.

I know that many people consider hate to be a little harsh and a very strong word, but I really don't care. I'm going to use it anyways because I find the word _loathe_ to be a bit overdramatic and the words _strongly dislike_ to be too long to write out over and over again. I mean, just because I have to write and express myself in this thing does not mean I want to spend long amounts of time avoiding certain words that might not be politically correct. Do you catch my drift?

I hated him because he was one of the only people that had ever truly beaten me in a one-on-one matchup. Well, I mean outside of Gaara, and does he really count? No one can beat him. But the worst part of me losing to him was that our matchup had more to do with mental aspects than it did with brute force and strength. So, I just hated him for that. On top of that, he embarrassed me in front of my brothers, which are pretty much the only people I associate myself with. By the way, they have never let me live that loss down. So yeah, I hated him for that reason as well.

Unfortunately, when I look back on that matchup, I really don't have a chance against him. He controlled the shadows, and as the match went on, the shadows grew. He'd eventually have won one way or another. And I think that is why I decided that I was going to save him from flute girl. I wanted to show him I wasn't worthless and useless. I almost wanted to, what's the word, impress him. Not impress in a flirty way, but more along the lines of "I'm better than you think" ways.

But that was a really stupid move on my part because that's when I noticed them. His eyes gave off a slight twinkle when I smiled back at him when she was no longer moving. At that moment, I didn't hate him anymore. I could stand him. Anyways, he'd give me something to look at in Konoha.

I guess this notebook is all about bringing inner feelings up to the surface. Well, I hate my inner feelings. They are all loud and obnoxious. They can almost be compared to Naruto. These feelings make life so much more complicated than it needs to be. My inner feelings are the only explanation I can give for staying at the hospital with him that day. It's the only reason I have for feeling bad for him. For actually liking the fact that he cared so much for other human beings, and for wanting him to care that much about someone like me. That was the moment when I could more than stand him, and at that moment, I wanted to be his friend.

Shikamaru. When I saw that name in the letter the Hokage sent me that addressed who my guide during my stay would be, I knew exactly who he was. It had almost been two years since I last saw him and when he last saw me. I remember that letter for one reason and one reason only: the strange feeling that took over my stomach. It almost made me sick.

I had to sit down, and it wasn't because I was sick (even though I felt like it). Or because I was tired. It was because I knew. I had a crush on someone.

Now when you walk through the village long enough, you tend to eavesdrop on conversations, and by doing so, you learn things you otherwise would have never been exposed to. One of the things I learned was crushes. All of the other teenage girls socialized on a daily basis outside of one of the houses. They updated each other on crushes and boyfriends and the stupid drama that came with them.

So when I sat down, I went through their checklist in my head. Butterflies in the stomach. Check. Increased heart rate. Check. Being nervous about the next time you'll see him. Check. I realized then that I was screwed. That I liked someone I probably shouldn't.

Now I never really know when I started loving him. For that matter, when I started loving his little antics. It could have been that night we walked under the stars and talked until we reached the place I was staying at. It could have been during that Shoji match that he let me win, and I got mad at him for it. (He simply replied that he thought it would stop me from complaining about the fact that he never lost at Shoji.) It could have been when he invited me to lay with him under the clouds one day. I really don't know.

I just know that I have fallen for his lazy ass, and I don't think that there is anything I can do about it. There is that loss of control again. I hate it, by the way. Have I told you that already?

Anyways, this whole "love" thing isn't normally me. Unlike other girls, I train and I don't let guys get in my way. I am independent. And until recently, I have liked it that way. Stupid Nara. Why'd you have to come along? Oh well, it's too late now. By tomorrow, I'll see your wonderful (scratch that) face at the gates and I will start this whole "love" cycle all over again. Guess, I'll leave this journal on that note. And with this question: am I going crazy?


	5. Chapter 5

_A kiss leads directly to the soul_

_One kiss can change a life time _

_One kiss can twist the meanings of phrases_

_A kiss changes the feeling of love_

_Visiting Konoha is always a refreshing sight if you know what I mean. (Of course you don't, you are nothing more than an inanimate object.) Anyways, as you get closer to the gates, you finally realize just how green the place is. Alright, I know that compared to my home anywhere is green, but still, that's totally not my point here. It was nice to feel a slight breeze that didn't fling any dirt into your hair._

_And yet, in life, moments like those are overshadowed by events we consider to be bigger. To me, as unfortunate as it is, he is an event that I consider to be bigger._

_Just like every other time before, I could tell that he had been waiting for me for awhile. He was leaned up against the wall, head in the clouds. Nothing is new there. He is constantly looking up. Even so, I have always wondered why he was so fascinated with them. _

_I remember that we once talked about the clouds. And yes, I find that a little crazy too. I mean, who really sits around and talks about silly little things like clouds? The only people I can picture doing that is old married couples. Not that I picture us as an old married couple or anything._

_Oh, so back on topic (if there even truly is a topic), we have this tradition. Well, really, I don't know how to describe as anything other than a tradition, so that's the word I'm using for it. Every time that we meet at the gate, we banter. We exchange insults that other people would probably get offended by. Normally, I shoot out "crybaby" because it's the first one that pops into my head the majority of the time. But others can include "asshole", "dipshit", and the occasional sarcastically-toned "genius". _

_He normally replies with a "troublesome woman" retort or he'll mumble something under his breath. Nevertheless, it is somewhat of a tradition to us. It really means nothing but a friendly hello. To tell you the truth, for as long as I can remember, we've greeted each other this way. _

_Which is why I found it rather weird when he barely even looked and acknowledged my presence this time around. I mean, I have always been the one to start the bickering, but nonetheless, by the end of it, we both had smirks on our face. So, as I almost always did, I said, "You know, slouching against a wall without paying any mind to the rest of the world isn't very smart, crybaby." He just shrugged. No comment. No tradition. No nothing. So, I was curious as to what was bugging him. _

_You see (I really should stop using that phrase because you never really can see stupid journal) Shikamaru is rarely ever upset because he finds that it takes too much energy to be upset, which (for once and hopefully only once) I might have to agree with him. I probably could count on one hand how much times I've seen him truly upset. And this was the first time I had ever seen him almost glazed. _

_I never really know how to deal with things of that nature. I mean, I have had two brothers my entire life. No mother. No real influence from my father. My brothers were all I had, and most of the other people stayed in my life for short time spans. It was never permanent. Gaara kept his heart bottled up so deep that I'm surprised he never killed me. And as for Kunkoro, he kept to himself as well. Plus, we both were to busy with Gaara to really pay attention to our own problems. They weren't as important. _

_So there I was, with Shikamaru in distress, and I knew that unless I approached him about it, he would keep that bottled up inside. In a way, like I am doing. But that's a totally different story. I mean, I can handle myself just fine._

_I recall walking the typical paths we walked. They all seemed so empty even though many people filled in the streets. I knew exactly why. Remember how I told you that he was the bigger moment than the breeze? That he overshadowed it? Yeah, I'm talking about this upcoming moment._

_I don't how or even maybe why I jumped in front of him and had the stupid courage to tell him that we needed to talk somewhere private. I blushed right after the words slipped off pof my tongue. I didn't want him to get the wrong idea (because believe it or not, ladies, all guys are horny) , but would it be a bad thing if he did? _

_Luckily I didn't have to wonder about that too long. He simply nodded and nudged me in the straight-shot alleyway that led to a field. A green field. He lead the way, very lazily. He had is hands in his pockets (so predictable), but still, he wasn't the same. He was tense, unnerved even. He sat down in the grass against the lone tree at the very top of the hill. Not that it was a steep hill; it's just that it seemed to be sort of out of nowhere._

_So, we sat there in silence for a good ten minutes or so. And then the meltdown began. He told me everything. I was surprised at it because it didn't seem like Shikamaru would share his feelings so easily. I mean, it took a miserably failed mission to get him to open up just a little. Now imagine that he is spilling his guts to you on a hill. It's madness! (Not that I mind it. To live, you have to be a little crazy, right?) He told me about Asuma. About his last mission. About the troubles he was facing within himself, and after all of that, he looked me directly in the face and said, "I'm sorry." _

_He said it in a way that makes you feel bad for him saying those words. In the sincere way that drives me insane. So, what did I do? I started talking about my background. And halfway, I stopped. I looked over, and for once, Shikamaru wasn't looking at the clouds. He was looking directly at him. And not in his normal lazy way. It was in a more intent way. The way that made my skin crawl. The way that made me kiss him on that hill under a lone tree._

_I stunned even myself and then it was my turn to apologize, but then I realized something: he had kissed back. I tried to say those two small words, but they were so distant from my tongue. He simply smirked and stated the obvious, "I knew you liked me."_

_Do I? Do I truly like him? No, no I don't. Isn't it obvious? I love him. Unfortunately, it took a kiss for a genius to even make sure I like him. How pathetic on his part. On my part._

_Anyways, I don't know why I made the next advance and induced a make-out scene on the top of the hill. Maybe it was the rush. Maybe it was the thought of being with him. Maybe it was some stupid thing people call fate or destiny. All I know is that he had to have felt the same way because he was kissing back with passion. _

_Just as I pictured._


	6. Chapter 6

Typically, when two people like each other, they go on a date or they just decide to invest themselves in a relationship. Well, Shikamaru and I don't really have that simple luxury. The reasoning you may ask? Well, there are three main reasons why.

1) The distance: See, we might have a chance with developing a relationship if we didn't live in two completely different villages. I live three days away. Who is to say that he won't find someone while I'm home? (wait, I'm not saying that he will but that it is possible with Ino and everything). But long-distance just isn't for me. Umm…well, with him, I could make an exception. But that still leaves two more reasons why we can't.

2) The status: He should be nothing more than my guide (but, alas, he isn't). He is a mere chunnin on top of that. I'm his superior. (I will always be but that is besides the point.) I'm the ambassador, and he is the guide. Am I repeating myself? Okay, so I'll leave the major details to your own imagination. Simply said, however, we can not be together because of the ridicule. The ridicule we'll have to go through. And what happens if the villages become enemies again? Choosing between the village and the guy is crazy.

3) The brothers: If we did work something out with the first two reasons, these two people will definitely scare the thought of a relationship off. Gaara, Kankuro, and I have been a solid unit for so long that bringing someone into the mix would not be smart. Anyways, as far as their standards go, Shikamaru can't measure up. Honestly, I don't think anyone could. (which means I will probably always be single)

My point to this entry is to say I can never be happy because I'm not sure how. Well, actually, I know how. I just can't be with him. It would be social suicide for me. For us. (If there even is an us).

This is my last entry. I only had to write for a few months and then I would be cleared. Don't worry, I'm not in a mental institute or anything. Just cleared to train again. This time without any stupid breakdowns standing in my way. Well, goodbye my friend. Have a good time wherever you end up staying.

Gaara resided in his studies, not sure what to think about the journal that had landed on top of his already massive stacks of paperwork.

Temari stood stiff as she slammed the book down on the paperwork. ''Here! Everything is in that stupid thing. Just keep it away from me." She walked solemnly out of his office and out to another mission, which hadn't happened in over months. She didn't even look at Gaara as she left his office.

Just by that subtle detail, Gaara knew that Temari wasn't lying. He had grown up with his sister and knew when she let everything out and mentally had to rebuild herself. He could tell this was one of those times.

He picked up the book in nervous anticipation. He knew that others would have to read this thing, but he wanted to be the first. The first person that believed that whatever she wrote in this journal was the truth because outside of the battlefield, Temari almost never lied. That is, except to herself.

It intrigued him more than anything. Temari kept her personal feelings away from everyone. She never let feelings get in the way. Well, until she became the ambassador. Then she had meltdowns and breakdowns. That's when Gaara demanded something be done. He thought it was the stress of the training and excessive missions she was put on so he restricted those. Regulated those. Eventually, he stopped those. Even so, there was only one mission he could not stop: the ambassador's visit to Konoha.

He flipped through the twenty pages of the journal fairly quickly and closed it shut. He could not believe that his sister had fallen in love and kept it secret for so long. She had kept it bottled up, not able to tell a single soul that a shadow- wielder gained control of more than just his shadows. He had her heart as well, and yet, she was worried about how her village would view this. How she couldn't be with him because of her brothers.

He smirked unnerved. Little did she know that Kankuro and Gaara had hoped that somehow Temari would be wanted by someone. That somewhere she would be cherished as the person she was. The powerful, moody, reckless, smart, beautiful person she was. Gaara laughed as he pictured the scrawny boy from the chunnin exams years ago. Nara Shikamaru must have grown up by now. Otherwise, Temari wouldn't have picked him. Or did she really pick him at all?

From the stories that Gaara had heard about true love, one stood out in his mind. Kankuro came home from the academy once saying that everyone was oblivious when they are in love. Temari walked right by him as he told the story, specifically when he said they were oblivious. She sat down beside Gaara and let Kunkuro finish and simply stated, "That can't be true. How can true love be real if no one knows it exists?" And just like that, she went back to the one thing she always seemed to be doing: training.

Gaara contemplated for a long time whether he should get involved and he concluded that since he was part of this mess (Reason 3), he might as well help. He called in the other reason 3: his brother. He plainly stated the facts and told him to get Nara here within five days.

"You know that's impossible! It's at least a three-day journey!" Kankuro wanted to help, but to him, asking that type of favor was that asking him to move mountains with his puppets. It was nearly impossible.

Gaara had been around people that had cared about each other long enough to know that when one person is in danger, the impossible quickly becomes a reality. "Just tell him Temari is almost dead and has sent him for him before she passes away."

Kankuro stared at his brother for awhile and smiled. "You know, that's not a bad idea."

Kankuro sprinted toward Konoha, hoping to make up for lost-time.


	7. Chapter 7

Kankuro could barely keep up with Shikamaru. For a lazy ninja that strategized before he even made a move in a battle, he was insanely quick and built up a lot of endurance. As for Kankuro, he was running on low energy going into the village. That was about a day ago, and they hadn't stopped to rest since. It almost brought a smile to Kankuro's face as he realized that Shikamaru and Temari's feelings were mutual. That was except for the fact that he was barely conscious and his legs burned from the constant motion that had lasted days now.

And yet, Shikamaru never looked back and never stopped moving. It was as if he had prepared for this. Kankuro was sure that he hadn't, but the thought must have struck his mind once or twice. Kankuro almost felt bad for the kid because for one, he had fallen in love with Temari and two, he was feeling trapped at the moment. Temari was almost gone and out of his reach. Or at least he thought it was going to be that way.

Shikamaru suddenly stopped and stood on a thick branch. He turned around to face Kankuro. Kankuro had to admit that Shikamaru was no longer a scrawny kid anymore. He actually had the strength to protect someone, specifically his sister. Not that that was a problem to begin with.

"Kankuro, you need to rest. I know that you have to be tired by now. I can get there faster without you dragging me down." He stated it as a demand more so than a fact. It was the tone in his voice, a demanding tone. Kankuro smirked secretly. The kid might just survive her wrath after all.

"Fine. Just get to her, and make her she stays alive for one more day after your arrival. I want to see her one last time." Kankuro honestly hated lying, but Gaara's plan had to work. It was a great plan in all reality, and Kankuro couldn't mess it up.

"Don't worry. I'll make sure that there is a way to see her more than just one time." Shikamaru smiled nervously as he turned and darted off . He quickly moved out of Kankuro's sight.

Temari had brought a few guys over to meet them, but Kankuro disliked all of them. They were not going to be there for her when she actually needed them. They were nothing more than her play toys. She would dispose of them when she got bored or felt like things could get serious.

Shikamaru was about to head out on a mission and dropped it for her. The Hokage knew of the plan somehow, which was all part of Gaara's mysteries, so getting her to agree was easy. Though, if she had said no, Kankuro knew that Shikamaru would have disobeyed anyways. Kankuro actually liked this guy. Nara Shikamaru had his approval. "Kid, I hope you get Gaara's approval. He is the Kazekage after all." He smiled as he headed to a place that he could rest at before he headed back home to see the aftermath of Gaara's plan.

* * *

Shikamaru knew that he was extremely lazy. He hated doing anything that required any amount of actual energy or concentration (that is, except for shoji.). And yet, he found himself sprinting as fast as he could to Suna. He knew that it is supposed to be a three-day journey, but he didn't stop to rest. Shikamaru loved his rest.

He flashed a small smirk as he saw the gates of Suna, but the smirk quickly dispersed as he entered the village, without stopping to check in. And yet, no one stopped him. Somehow, Shikamaru knew the quickest way to learn about Suna and exactly where Temari was: the Kazekage.

Gaara scared the crap out of Shikamaru. He knew that no matter how smart he was, he could probably never defeat Gaara in a battle, which he would be dumb to get in to begin with. Though, Shikamaru could only imagine how busy Gaara was, he knew that Temari meant something to the Kazekage as well. He only had two people in his family left, and to lose one would be absolutely devastating. It would be devastating to Shikamaru too. To never see her beautiful eyes twinkle at him or hear an insult that was specifically to him. To never kiss those lips again. It would be horrible to leave without her, and he knew it. That's why he was still sprinting after two days of no sleep and non-stop sprinting.

He knew where the Kazekage's office was from Temari's desciption of Suna. He darted up the sand-covered steps, and he approached the famous study room. He opened the doors to see a calm Gaara sitting in a chair. "Hello Shikamaru, please sit down."

Under any other circumstance, Shikamaru would have got the message. From it was any other person, he would have relaxed. But it was the troublesome woman, and his calm demeanor had been demolished by his emotions.

_You did go through emotional training, didn't you? _

"Sit down! Do you realize that your sister, your older sister, that worries about you constantly, is dying!" He stood helplessly in front of Gaara, hoping that he wouldn't be dead today.

Gaara simply propped his elbows on the desk. "So, you really do love her, don't you?"

Shikamaru was a genius, but he hated his feelings because they got in the way of his bliss. He hated them because he knew that they were always right. He hated him now because he couldn't deny them. Because he had to admit that he loved her. He sighed before his answer because what else could he do? "Yes, I love her. I wouldn't be here if I didn't."

Gaara actually smiled this time. He never smiled. "That's good then. She'll be happy to see you when she gets back from her latest mission. She'll be here by tomorrow." And with that, Gaara stood up. "I've made arrangements for you to sleep nearby. You will be staying, correct?" Gaara placed his hand on Shikamaru's shoulder. Shikamaru was stunned because he figured that it would be cold and lifeless, when now it was warm and comforting. "Sorry, but it was the only way to make sure you got here before she did."

Shikamaru shook his head. It made sense now that he thought about it. He knew that following feelings was not his first choice of action. It was her fault. It was all of her fault. Plus, he was outsmarted. "Is she alright?" He was shocked that all of the things he could have said, he chose those.

"She is fine. It was a very routine mission." Gaara showed Shikamaru to the door. "Enjoy Suna while you can. I suppose you haven't been her much."

Shikamaru sighed with relief. His main reason to be here wasn't even here. He quickly opened the door, but he decided to shut it slowly to talk to Gaara. "It's because I had enough of Suna with me to last a lifetime." He walked out of the building longing for Temari's arrival to be early. Very early.

He didn't know it but by his last words, he had sealed Gaara's approval. If Temari wanted to be with Shikamaru, nothing stood in her way.


	8. Chapter 8

Temari was tired from walking. Well, she really was just tired period. She hated doing the stupid basic missions that genins in her village could do. She was one of the elite shin obi, and she knew it. That's why she was so easily promoted to the Suna ambassador. Not to mention that her brother so easily took control of the village.

Right now, though, all she wanted was a tall glass of water with ice cubes and her soft comfy bed with had pillows for support. She dragged herself through the village streets, but to Suna's people, she seemed energized and completely alert. That was one of her best talents: fooling people. She could act completely okay when she was dying on the inside, and she knew it.

That was her greatest weakness, and she knew that as well. If anyone found out about it, it would mean constant questioning, and that would irritate her more than anything. It would be more irritating than Kankuro. And, to her, he was irritating.

She felt hopeless as she entered her corridor in the Kazekage's office building. The three of them just decided to sleep in the same house they grew up in. They didn't have to even invade in each other's space. Though, sometimes, they chose to anyways.

Temari simply sighed. Gaara would probably be entering her personal life through that diary any day now, and when he did, it would be her downfall. Not that Gaara would announce it to the world or anything; it was more that she would no longer be able to keep her secret to herself. She would eventually have to confront it. She finally came to the door that led into her bedroom. It was probably one of the smallest bedrooms on that hall, but that was the way she liked it. It felt cozy and invited, especially the bed.

She leaned her fan against the wall and her dresser and fell into her bed. She easily closed her eyes.

"I never pictured your room to be like this, Temari."

Her eyes opened wide. She knew exactly who was in her room and where exactly he was in her room. Although that shocked her, what shocked her more was that he called her by her name. No insult. No troublesome woman. Just Temari.

She turned to the only dark corner of the room and smiled at him. She loved to smile at him, but if you asked her about it, she would deny it. Smiling could show weakness, and she wasn't weak. "I thought you hated the sand, Nara. So why are you here?" She knew the answer, but she wanted to hear it from her lips. His soft lips that she would daydream about, but she would never admit that to anybody. That was, after all, her greatest strength.

"You know exactly why. You've been ignoring me." There was a short pause. Shikamaru didn't want to sound mean and his usual tone came out that way. "If you don't want to be with me, that's fine. I care, but I…I can't explain it. You are the only puzzle I can't solve. You are the person that keeps me alert."

Temari interrupted. She wasn't about to let Shikamaru have the last word. That was not how a dominant woman behaved. She wanted control so she took it from him. "Shut up! You have no clue what it would take. You are a genuis, so they say, but you can't put the pieces together. I love you!" She covered her mouth. The words slipped out, and she lost control. She never lost control.

Shikamaru walked over and sat on her bed. He looked her in the eyes, to make sure she was listening. "You do, huh? Well, I love you back. I wouldn't be here if I didn't. Kankuro came and said you were dying. It was part of Gaara's plan to get me here to see you. To talk to you. To be with you. You are troublesome, don't get me wrong, but I fell for you."

Temari looked back and finally smirked. "I never thought I would say this, but Shikamaru, are we dating?"

Shikamaru simply smiled. He didn't smirk. He actually made the effort to smile. "Yes, and I think I'll thank your brothers for that."


End file.
